Those Wretched Lines… Finding Hope in Heartache

Five years later and the pain of those days still cut deep. The Lord has washed so much healing over me. I am so thankful for His work in my life.
Those wretched lines.

I watched them so closely. I listened and hung on every word; spending endless hours educating myself on every medical term I heard. None of those things made those lines start or keep jumping.

It was was a hot summer night in July. I was so sick. I had nothing left. Walking across the room left me breathless. My blood pressure was so high, it just wouldn’t relent. My world was falling apart… why Lord?

 I have a plan child, trust Me.

Oh how I wish my ears were tuned to hear His gentle comforts that night.

Waking that night my head was so fuzzy.

Why do I feel like I am wetting the bed? Why am I so dizzy? I can’t think. Maybe a drink.

Half way down the hall I fall against the wall too weak to hold myself up.

I just need sleep. I’ll lie down.

Another hour goes by before I wake again.

Am I wetting the bed?  What is wrong with me? I need to get up and go to the restroom. I can’t stay here. Am I dreaming? 

Then it happens.

 I don’t make it.

Sharp pain fills my body. Gushing blood floods into a pool on the bathroom floor.

What is happening?

 “Luke, help me!”

It was all a blur after that. Our sweet Gussy boy was in the Hands of the Almighty. I was in the Hands of the Almighty. We were completely powerless against this destructive force that was overtaking us.  Luke was helpless to save either of us. He got us to the ambulance and fell to his knees to beg mercy. There was nothing more he could do. At the hospital everyone worked hard to save us but the outcome was not in their hands.

  The Hands of the Lord alone.

As I woke from that fateful evening I wanted to know where my baby was.

What happened?

Did he make it?

Where is Luke? 

Small pieces of the night before started coming back. Losing conciousness as the doctor’s loud voice yelled over me that they were going to lose us and there was no time for prep. Vomitting as my body was going into shock. Closing my eyes to the thought that I may never wake.

Fear flooded my mind.

Had my baby made it?

 What had happened?

 Oh Lord, no. Please no. Not this.

The pain in Luke’s eyes made my heart sink. I want to see my baby.

Finally, I was taken to see my sweet baby boy.

Lord, no. Please bring him back. 

He is seizing. 

He looks blank.

Why? Please Lord, no.

They had to get him into a hypothermic state and get him to Seattle.

We must wait. 
The call from Seattle came later that day. He has no brain activity. They will keep him on the life machines so we can come and say our goodbyes but his brain simply has no activity.

My body goes numb and finally the pains and fears flood our room and I melt into Luke weeping and wishing that I had died with him.

I can’t take it. Please Lord, no!  

A nurse filled with kindness and compassion came in and hugged me tight. She cried with me until tears ran dry. She had been there through it all. She was a witness to the night that forever changed me. I will always remember her compassion.

Ok, Lord. You know best. I trust You. I KNOW You alone can bring Him back.

Augustus Rapha Tannehill.  My God Heals! Jehovah Rapha Heals! 

I asked to be released, wanting to go be with my baby. I had nearly lost all of my blood. I had hand prints where I had been touched.  Lifting my arm took ever bit of energy I had.  Miraculously, my blood levels were checked and the doctor said it was amazing but I could make it without a transfusion. It would be better to have one but I could go without. He doesn’t want me to leave but reluctantly has compassion on my pain and says I may go.

I had no strength. Luke had to be my hands and feet but he loaded me up and we headed for Seattle.

We took to social media and begged everyone who would be willing to storm the gates of heaven with us to cry and beg for mercy from our King.

Take our case before the Lord, I beg you. 

We are stuck in traffic an hour outside of Seattle when my sister-in-law sends me a text with the miraculous news. His EEG has activity! He is reacting to sound!


Jesus Your mercy is never ending! Jesus we give You all glory! The painful memories have a giant beautiful cloud of mercy and Love over them!


We faced a giant that night and the months that followed. Still today that giant seeks to mock and produce fear in us as Gussy battles for every small victory.
But we stand on this promise! 

-2 Kings 6:16-

And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

In His Mercy,


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