“Defend the cause of the fatherless.”
The orphans need you. The families that adopt need you. The brokenness needs you.
This Sunday, November 13th is Orphan Sunday. A day set aside to be the voice of the voiceless. A day set aside to share joys and sorrows. A day to pray. A day to weep. A day to speak up. As you read, my prayer is that your heart will be softened and you will seek the Lord on how He would like to use you.
Some don’t qualify to adopt. There is a role for you.
Some can’t adopt because of law or circumstances. There is a role for you.
Some have no desire to adopt. There is a role for you.
Some hate how advocates make them feel. There is a role for you.
What is your role in caring for the 147 MILLION orphans in the world?
I will start today by highlighting ways to care for the fatherless that are not adoption. There is a role for YOU.
Adopt a family. This one is huge! Families that adopt traumatized children and infants from birth VERY often have a very difficult journey. Adoption begins with brokenness. ALWAYS. A family must be broken in order for a child to be adopted. There is a great misconception going around that infants who are adopted at birth without drugs involved are not traumatized. Not true. Would you believe me if I told you that there are MANY cases of children adopted at birth to healthy biological mothers who have severe Reactive Attachment Disorder? Truth. Would you believe me and be moved to help if I told you that mothers who adopt these children very often suffer from severe depression, often contemplating suicide? Imagine for a moment please…
Your hearts desire is to have a child. The news from doctors breaks your heart in the deepest way. You mourn the loss but move forward to adopt a baby and are blessed to have a new opportunity to be a parent. You have a deep love for the precious life given you. Your child grows. Something is wrong. Your child doesn’t yet know they are adopted, why don’t they act like my child? Why do they seem more loving towards strangers? What have I done wrong? I must be a terrible parent. I have failed. I can’t seem to find joy. My marriage is rocky. My heart is broken. I’m drowning. I need help. What’s wrong with me?
So often folks. Not our scenerio but we have made many friends. TRAUMA DOES NOT STICK TO ONE PERSON. Let me say that again. TRAUMA REACHES TO ALL INVOLVED. Adopt a family. Often when you ask how you can help families struggle to know what to say. Be a friend. Be a respite caretaker. Make meals. Read about what they are facing. Send them care packages. Share a burden.Listen. DON’T downplay their pain. DON’T normalize their struggle. Love them where they are. Ask yourself how you would help if they were your own and move.
Advocate for Orphans
Be a voice to the voiceless. Possibilities are endless. Raise money, speak loudly, love fiercly. They need you.
“On any given day, there are approximately415,000 children in foster care in the United States. In 2014, over 650,000 children spent time in U.S. foster care. On average, children remain in state care for nearly two years and seven percent of children in foster care have languished there for five or more years.”
Legally Free and ready to be adopted… Find them a family!
Those are just a few ways to help without adopting. You have a role.
Brace yourself, I’m going to talk about the ugly little 8 letter word that makes many squirm in their seats.
Yes, some of you ARE called to adopt. Some of you harden your heart and choose to say no. I don’t judge you. I’ve hardened my heart too many times to condemn others who do so.
My heart is for children that were cast into exile because of a special need. Societies around the world see them as a curse. A burden. Throw away. Worthless. Not all biological parents that leave their children in the orphanage just don’t want them. They are scared. They live in a society that will outcast them. My precious number 7 was loved by her bio family. It has made a great difference in her outcome. Number 5 was not loved or visited. Their trauma is much different. Number 7 is well attached to us. Number 5 is not attached at all after nearly 3 years.
I have seen, smelled, and heard children dying in pain. I have walked away powerless and wept fiercly after a precious child reached through the bars of their own personal prison desperate for one second of human touch. I have prayed that God would let her die so she can be comforted in His arms. It has destroyed me.
I am forever bound to their cause.
Church hear me. Don’t let this offend your righteousness, ask God to use you. I have been self-righteous more than I care to ever admit and it has never done me a lick of good. It has never saved a life. Seek Christ’s righteousness. He will take you deeper than you ever could have imagined possible.
This isn’t some Internet picture I grabbed. This child resided in my niece’s ex-orphanage before being transferred out. This is her current state. I personally know people who have met this child. She has no voice but ours. Hear her please.
Read what Maya, from Maya’s Hope says…
“This is Yulia, an orphan in Ukraine. She was originally at Kalinovka (same place where Sergey and Margarita came from) and due to some changes with the institution, Yulia was transferred to another orphanage for girls.
Our access was somewhat restricted, although we do provide formula and other needs there. She was much healthier before, but the pictures tells a thousand words. We are in the process of hiring two caregivers at this orphanage.
If you are looking to adopt, Yulia is looking for a home. Time is running out. Please let me know. Here is what our program manager reported:
“We try to control situation with Yulia as much as possible – we suggested our help and gave recommendations on her feeding process and suggested our help in medical observation. Today they took her to region hospital for observation.”
You can see her sleeping peacefully in her crib in this video that I took a few years ago at Kalinovka. The change is disturbing.”
Folks they need you. There are millions of Yulias.
This is my Katie.
She was loved but her family could not care for her. After they moved back to Russia and could no longer visit her the orphanage stopped feeding her well. She was 8 lbs. the day we got her out. Newborn diapers couldn’t hold in urine because she had no thighs. Skin hung from her bottom because she had no fat. She was 2 1/2 years old. Her skin was purple and dying from protein depletion. She spent her time sitting in a crib. Katie was born without a nose and she is blind. That isn’t scary. She is the typical baby of the family now and she is a blessing that none of us could imagine not having.
I can’t write about number 5 right now. The horror he faced haunts him. He is a broken 5-year-old and we are helpless.
This leads me into a very important subject.
Most of the time love and family change lives.
Sometimes love and a family does nothing but produce hate and rage. Not all children can function in a family setting. I weep for every damaged life.
Love and hug those families extra tight. Failed adoptions are not usually the fault of anyone in the present. Trauma is an evil force and it destroys and conquers.
Please listen now.
That is not the normal. It happens. But so does love.
In the words of a song I love…
This one goes out to the world changer
Shining your light in the face of danger
Oh, tell us what you know
You’re a saint, you’re a son, you’re a promise keeper
Bottom of the well, still digging down deeper
Oh, how far you gonna go
Nobody knows why your heart is broken
Nobody cries while your prayers are going up
But Love Does
In His Mercy,