In the Pain of Night I Will Praise You

wp-image-1910176462jpg.jpegThen the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

 “Who is this that obscures my plans
    with words without knowledge?
 Brace yourself like a man;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
    Tell me, if you understand.

-Job 38:1-4

Shall I learn from this? I hope. In a battle with my flesh I weep tonight. I want to question my Sovereign King. But I seek to learn from this Word. My heart, though wicked, whispers…

Melissa, brace yourself like a man and listen! 

Melissa,  where were you when He laid the earth’s foundation? 

He is God. He knows infinitly more than me.

This week has been hard. Really really hard. I have cried. Anxiety has never really been a huge struggle for me. I generally handle really tough situations fairly well. Not this week. Rewind to Thursday afternoon… nothing particularly horrible happened but I started crying anyhow. Then I panicked. Four days later I was still crying. I was still panicking. And now I couldn’t seem to think or function. I finally reached my limit and found my breaking point.

Thank You Jesus for showing me what a pile of mess I am without You.

I have no strength. I fail to walk in Victory so often. But as I sit here at the end of this week in the emergency room watching my baby suffer the pain of yet another horrible status seizure, I am reminded of my King’s perfection. So I will not question Him. I will weep in pain but I trust that this will work to the glory of God.

Although I missed it myself,  my family told me that as we laid in the grass outside the church surrounded by medics a large group of students and teachers joined in a circle and took our case before the Lord.


I  have a message for you, satan. You have no power to move without my King allowing it. You may mock me. You may whisper your lies. But here I lay in a puddle of mess with zero power of my own, completely held by my Father. You see, satan,  I am a daughter of the Most High. I have a promise. I know where I end my race and I know where you end yours. You lose.


   You are infinitely perfect. Your plan for my joys and my sorrows are perfect. You laid the foundation of the world. You speak and the winds and water obey Your every command. No evil shall prevail against You. Glory to the Lamb that was slain. My failure put Your Son on the cross. Forgive me of my sinful flesh. I can’t even abide in Your good gift without You holding me there. Take this flesh and kill it. I will fall on the Rock that is higher than me. It pleased You to crush Your Son… crush me as You see fit. You are God. I am dust. Glory to Your Name.

In His Mercy,


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